My friend Doug bought me a Woodsman’s Pal for a recent birthday. If you’ve never handled one, do yourself a favor and pick one up. They’re extremely well made and well balanced with intense chopping power. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to somehow customize this beautiful sumbitch… just look at that broad blade – it’s like an eager canvas! The one thing I would change is the length of the chopping edge. As you can see in the picture, it stops a couple inches from the end of the blade. I would extend it all the way to the end, around the corner, and an inch across the top, to give the weapon a deadly striking point right on the sweet spot – this would effectively push it over the thin line from tool to weapon… as intended.
Instead, I got antsy while watching “Snatch” for about the 137th time and decided to decorate it. I started by sanding the clear finish off of the handle with the intention of staining the wood darker. What I ended up doing instead was decorating the handle with markers and spraying it with a coat of lacquer. The lacquer made the markers run together, which actually improved the final look, in my opinion.
Lastly, I roughed up the blade with coarse grit sandpaper, painted it teal, and then painted a design in metallic silver and covered the blade in a few coats of lacquer as well.
Here’s the final product. Obviously, the paint job on the blade will get effed up the first time this is actually used for its intended purpose, so I’ll either use it as a wall hanger or wait and actually kill zombies with it. I put too much work into this to go recklessly chopping through the woods with it… which is actually okay, because it gives me an excuse to get the military premium version.
Another reason to decorate a machete like this is to arm someone who would otherwise NEVER keep a weapon around. I have more than a few friends and family who’ve looked at me sideways when I’ve gifted them a weapon of some kind.
Me: “Here ya go, loved one – a tool with which to defend your life and liberty from monsters, aliens, malfunctioning robots, or evil human beings!”
Unarmed Loved-one: O_o
Inevitably, the weapon ends up in a closet, or rusting in the garage. However, if it were to look like THIS… well… they might be more apt to keep it around for its aesthetic qualities (or at least they’d feel more obligated to).