The Blood of Heroes a.k.a. The Salute of the Jugger (1989)

(Featuring guest reviewer Nick Weaver!) I know I’m one of the few out there that really, sincerely likes Waterworld, and that might cast doubt on my taste, but I also really, sincerely like The Blood Of Heroes. I’m certain that almost all of this movie’s appeal, to me, is due to the always cool and charismatic Rutger Hauer and the equally charismatic and paaaaaaiiinfully sexy Joan Chen. Continue reading

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

“Hell Comes to Frogtown” is not a piece of shit. Let’s start there. Imagine if John Carpenter had shot a sequel to “Big Trouble in Little China” , only it took place after a nuclear apocalypse, and they couldn’t afford to get Kurt Russel or Kim Cattrall back… that movie might have been this movie. Continue reading

“On The Beach” (1959)

“On The Beach” contains something that is unfortunately lacking in many films of the of post apocalyptic genre – story. Nearly the entire first half is nothing but characterization and exposition. Sure, it’s a slow start, but by the time we reach the climax (giggity), we actually give a shit about nearly ALL of the characters, and in the closing scenes of the film I honestly shed a tear or two. Continue reading

Black Velvet (2011)

Back in September of 2010, Tim Pape planted the seeds in my brain of a film he was working on called “Black Velvet”. Today, a strange and discordant shrubbery burst from my skull and all over my television screen. “Black Velvet” (or at least the festival cut that I watched) is 85 minutes of oddity, confusion, and poetry. Have you ever met someone that was so disconnected that attempting to follow a conversation with them made you feel as if they were pulling you into madness? “Black Velvet” is the film equivalent of that. Continue reading

Carriers (2009)

A lot of movies, in my opinion, are good in spite of their protagonists. “Carriers” (2009) is good in large part BECAUSE of Chris Pine. Granted, there are other good performances, and the writing is really tight, but Pine is the first thing that will grab you (not inappropriately… I don’t think). While this isn’t the first pandemic movie I’ve seen, it’s the first I’ve seen that skips right over the appearance and devastation of the pandemic (the writhing, putrid meat and potatoes of most disease-themed movies) and takes us straight to the bleak aftermath. It’s a post-apocalyptic pandemic procedural (wipes spit off screen) and buddy-road-trip that would only have been an educational B-movie without the depth and charisma of Pine’s perfect performance (wipes screen again). Now that I’m done kissing his ass, let’s start the review. Continue reading

Six-String Samurai (1998)

“Six-String Samurai” (1998) is a movie that gets better every time I watch it. Part kung fu action comedy, part post apocalyptic buddy film, and part music video, it never takes itself so seriously as to sacrifice style for story. This is less an attempt at making a sincere post apocalyptic movie, and more a fun and comedic tribute to the genre, which some say it uses as a vehicle to tell an even deeper tale – society’s musical transition from classic rock and roll to modern heavy metal. Continue reading

Five (1951)

“Five” is a very unique post apoc film, and film in general, and the first (that I know of) to portray a post-nuclear apocalyptic setting. The film is very different from the post-apocalyptic films that followed in that it takes place very soon after the event, and has almost no violent conflict in it whatsoever, save for one very brief scene in which a man is stabbed (but quite mildly, by today’s standards… a decaf stabbing, if you will). Continue reading

A Boy and His Dog (1975)

“A Boy and His Dog” is probably one of the most sexist post apocalyptic film ever made, but also one of the most influential. This movie is so purely representative of the genre that if I could reduce it to a powder, I’d snort it through a rolled up page from a Max Brooks book and evaporate into a tiny mushroom cloud – the six foot empty space between my face and the TV just dilutes the experience. Based on a 1969 short story by Harlan Ellison, it has influenced everything from the “Mad Max” series to “Fallout 3”. In essence, ABAHD (so good it needs a hip acronym) is the ultimate buddy film spanning everything from a desolate surface wasteland to a surreal underground vault community with despotic social engineers and android enforcers. Continue reading